


For Love of Her

by sufferingsoprano



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Female-Centric, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor L/Yagami Light, Misa has a complex relationship with Rem, Misa is obsessed with Light but has a strong attachment to Rem, One-Sided Amane Misa/Yagami Light, Protective Rem (Death Note), Rem centric, Rem is in love with Misa, Rem just wants Misa to be happy, Remisa centric, Sad Ending, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:21:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29443257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sufferingsoprano/pseuds/sufferingsoprano
Summary: An exploration of the hauntingly tragic story of Rem and Misa, and how love failed to save them.—Misa’s smile, her laugh, her touch, her hair, her voice, her warmth, her glow… just her,  everything— every little detail was drilled into Rem’s mind.As Rem felt her body give out, disintegrating into thousands and thousands of dust particles, she thought only of the human girl who’d brought color into her life.“I love you”
Relationships: Amane Misa/Rem, Amane Misa/Yagami Light, L/Yagami Light
Kudos: 7





	For Love of Her

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Yes! I’m writing more death note content! :)
> 
> This fic mainly focuses on Rem, and her relationship with Misa.  
> I write all of these characters with the intention of showing that they are all morally gray. Misa is a victim in many ways, but she is also responsible for many deaths, and emotionally manipulates Rem. I imply that there is good in Light and L, but Light is still a mass murderer, and L’s morals are still twisted as ever. Even Rem, who is the main focus, exhibits indifference to the deaths of thousands. All of these characters are deeply, and I mean DEEPLY flawed— but that’s what makes them all so compelling! :)
> 
> So yes, Rem/Misa is the main ship (I personally wrote this with the intention that Misa does reciprocate Rem’s feelings to some extent, but these feelings are very much lost amidst her obsession with Light, etc)— you can interpret it as one sided if you so choose, but either way, it’s pretty heart breaking.  
> Misa/Light is purely one sided (as it is in canon), and L and Light are heavily implied to be romantically involved, but both of these relationships take a back seat to Rem/Misa! So yeah, there you have it, enjoy! :)

Rem would never understand how Misa could throw her life away for a man who thought her to be worth less than the dust beneath his feet. 

Light Yagami could never love her back... and yet she entrusted every piece of herself in his hands. Half of her lifespan had been signed away all for the sake of serving his will.

There was no rhyme or reason to her ways as she flung herself at his feet, fully willing to stain her soul by carrying out his bidding. Rem could only watch helplessly as the girl tore herself apart in the name of delusion.

It left a sour taste in Rem’s mouth, a flurry of anger and pity welling up in her bones. The shinigami brushed aside these feelings. It was Misa and Misa alone’s decision on how she would use the years she’d been given.

—

Some mornings Misa would hum to herself as she brushed her hair. Her humming would only escalate until she was singing at full volume, dancing around her room without a care in the world.

Rem would never admit it out loud, but such mornings were her favorites. 

Misa’s voice was nothing groundbreaking. Sometimes her notes fell flat or her voice cracked ever so slightly. However, there was a rawness to her singing that left Rem breathless. Misa always sang with an enormous grin, her entire body moving with the music.

Rem had heard many a singer in her lifetime. After centuries of existence, she’d had the chance to hear the most gifted of vocalists raise their voices in song. Yet, for reasons Rem could not articulate, even the most talented of opera stars paled in comparison to Misa.

Rem could listen for hours, watching Misa twirl about. The girl was radiant, her eyes bright and full of life.

—

The light in Misa’s eyes twisted into something darker with a flick of Kira’s wrist. Her only light source had become Light himself.

Rem thought Misa a fool— She was digging her own grave. It would not be long before Light would write her name in his notebook and steal the life from within her.  
And even still, Rem could not sit by and let this heartless fiend write Misa’s doom.

The shinigami knew she was supposed to be nothing but a bystander in Misa’s story, and that this attachment to the girl would inevitably be Rem’s downfall. Shinigami were not made to care, much less love, but still, Rem took it upon herself to protect the girl.

Rem would sign away her life for Misa, the same way Misa had signed her life away to Light, if it meant that the girl could have a chance at happiness. So without hesitation, Rem threatened the boy. 

She contemplated offing him right then and there, perhaps then Misa could be free of this Kira nonsense. In the end she would spare his life as long as he did not threaten Misa’s well being.  
Light made Misa happy, even despite not caring for her in the slightest. If keeping Light alive would bring Misa joy, then Rem would let him live another day.

When he pressed his lips against Misa’s, taking her in his arms— Rem felt a shiver of disdain course through her empty veins.

—

It was an accident at first. 

Misa’s manager was particularly upset with Misa, scolding her for her forgetful nature. Misa’s head fell as she seemingly reached for nothing, desperate to escape the situation.

Hesitantly, Rem reached out to take the girl’s hand in her own. Misa perked up at that, momentarily forgetting why she was nervous in the first place.

Misa squeezed Rem’s hand in thanks, entwining their fingers as her manager continued to yell.

This became a common occurrence for them, Rem always at the ready to hold Misa’s hand in times of need.

When an overbearing crowd would approach, or an interviewer would ask a poignantly invasive question, Rem was there to hold Misa’s hand.

As they walked to the train station from Light’s house, they walked hand in hand, Rem drowning in the warmth of the human girl’s flesh against her brittle fingers.

—

Physical touch became a regularity for them.

Light barely gave Misa the time of day as it was, so Misa found comfort in Rem’s arms.

Rem was caught off guard when Misa first lunged at her, wrapping her arms around the shinigami’s rough build. She immediately stiffened, unable to think clearly with Misa so close. Her first instinct was to retaliate with force, but upon second thought, she could not imagine why Misa would try and attack her.

“It’s a hug silly!”

Rem grunted in feigned annoyance, but as she returned the hug, a soft smile came to her lips.

Some nights, Rem carried an exhausted Misa to her bed. The girl knew nothing of her limits and constantly pushed herself until she could not keep her eyes open.

Tucking her in, Rem brushed a loose strand of Misa’s hair away from her eyes and then proceeded to place a kiss to the girl’s forehead.

“Goodnight Misa”

“Night’ Rem…”  
Misa mumbled before drifting off.

—

There were nights when Misa would beckon Rem to share her bed, whining that she was awfully lonely.

Rem protested at first, commenting on how as a shinigami she had little need for sleep.  
Not to mention, her build was all bulk and bone and had no place amongst the soft cushiness of Misa’s pillows.

Misa tugged at Rem’s hand, batting her eyelashes. 

“Pretty please, Rem?”

Rem tried to sputter some sort of rebuttal, but found that she could not resist Misa’s plea as she leaned into the human girl’s touch.

“Just this once.”

Misa guided her shinigami to lay down next to her, a huge smile plastered on her face.

Rem’s legs dangled off the edge of the bed, but she found that she didn’t mind. Turning her head to see Misa resting peacefully beside her made it all worth it.

Misa’s eyelids were heavy, and her expression was one of tired contentment.  
The girl shuffled closer to Rem, moving her pillow so that it rested on rem’s chest.

Rem watched silently with wide eyes, her bones aching in anticipation.

Misa lay her head on the pillow, curling against Rem.

Rem let out a gasp she didn’t know she was holding back. Misa giggled into the pillow, bringing her arm to rest across Rem.

Hesitantly, Rem brought her hand up to run her fingers through Misa’s hair, letting out an exasperated, yet fond sigh.

As Misa’s breath evened out, she unconsciously snuggled closer against Rem.  
An oddly comforting feeling overtook Rem’s being as she shut her eyes for the night.

—

Rem treasured such peaceful moments when they’d hold each other through the night. 

However, not all nights were good nights. Especially for Misa, who on occasion would awaken in a cold sweat with blood shot eyes. 

Rem came to learn that ever since Misa had witnessed her parent’s murders, she dealt with severe nightmares.

Some nights she woke up screaming, and others sobbing. Sometimes she simply woke up paralized, trapped in a state of terror.

Rem knew little of human conditions, but she thought Misa to be in need of some sort of medical assistance.  
Misa however refused to seek any sort of professional help, continually insisting that she was perfectly fine handling herself.

When confronted with such an outburst in the dark of night, Rem simply held the girl a little tighter than usual, running her fingers through Misa’s hair, and cupping the girl’s cheek with as much reassurance as she could muster.

“You are safe Misa. You will be alright.”

Rem felt an indescribable pain as she watched Misa tear herself apart over memories she’d rather forget.

It came together like clockwork in Rem’s head.  
Kira had killed those responsible for this— those murderers who’d taken Misa’s parents away, and in the process had taken Misa’s happiness.

Twisted as it was, Kira brought justice to those who had left Misa bruised and broken. Light had punished that heinous criminal for destroying Misa’s life, and frankly, Rem respected that.

With Rem’s sudden realization came a newfound ache. Misa saw Light as the hero who’d conquered her demons, but in reality he was simply using those same demons to control her.  
She shut her eyes tight, squeezing Misa’s shoulder lightly. Misa was trapped yet again in a cycle of scenarios that would leave her with crippling trauma and all Rem could do was stand by and watch it all unfurl.

It made Rem sick to her core.

— 

There were moments when Rem could barely recognize Misa.

The girl tore mercilessly at her death note’s pages, carrying out Light’s bidding at the blink of an eye. Misa had grown rather numb to taking the lives of others. If it would please Light, Misa would follow through with nothing less than a grin.

It sickened Rem. 

Of course the Shinigami cared little for human lives as it was, what was another lost? However, it was disheartening to know that Misa could agree with such an indifferent sentiment. Misa was not afraid of hurting others and did so perfectly willing and without a second thought.

Misa was so swept up in her obsession with that menacing Light Yagami, that she had lost so much of her humanity. Her morals laid discarded on the floor.

Rem hated to even consider it, but in some ways Misa had become just as much of a monster as Light.

—

With Misa bound in cuffs, it was impossible for Rem to hold the girl’s hand as she was led away.

Misa screamed and cried, begging to be released as a selection of cops blindfolded and gagged her before loading her into their vehicle. Rem stayed as close to Misa as possible, her presence consistently looming over Misa’s shoulder.

Misa pressed against Rem every chance she got, mildly comforted by the fact that through this all she was not alone. Not being able to see with the blindfold plastered on made Misa dizzy with anxiety.

“I am here Misa. I am here.”

— 

Watching them tie Misa up and string her to something resembling a cross filled Rem with unbridled rage.

No matter how they poked and prodded, how they threatened— Misa was firm in her resolve to defend Light to her last breath.  
No amount of poison, nor level of physical assault could dissuade Misa from following through to the end.

She refused to betray the one she loved above all, so she withstood the torture and the agony that accompanied her decision.

“Misa…”  
Rem murmured, gently cupping the girl’s face in her hands.

Misa leaned forward ever so slightly as if to thank the Shinigami. Rem could feel Misa’s uneven breath, and how her whole body shook with silent tears.

“It will be over soon.”

Rem wasn’t quite sure if she said that to comfort Misa or herself. Either way, it gave neither of them peace.

— 

“I really can’t take this anymore… I’d rather be dead.”

Rem’s contempt for Light Yagami and the man they called L grew by the second. 

It was because of them that Misa was giving up on life. It was because of them that Misa’s usual bright aura dulled to a sickenly bleak gray.

How could Light allow this? How could he reap the benefits of Misa’s assistance, and then turn around and leave her to rot at the fingertips of a man with just as dark a soul as Kira himself?

Rem hadn’t particularly had it out for the detective beforehand. She’d assumed L to be more moral than Light, considering that L was working to stop Kira’s monstrous deeds— but as she watched L sip his tea whilst Misa writhed in agony, she decided that L was just as monstrous as the man he sought to defeat.

L and Light weren’t all that different she supposed— both willing to bulldoze through anyone who dared get in their way, and both ruthless enough to destroy Misa Amane in the process.

“If you wanted to you could kill me right now… couldn’t you?”

Rem froze at the girl’s words. Though at face value it appeared that Misa was speaking to L when she pleaded for death, in truth, Misa was speaking directly to Rem.

“Misa, do you mean...?”

“Yes. Kill me.”

Rem’s hands shook uncontrollably as she ran her long fingers against the cover of her death note. She had the power to relieve Misa of her Peril— with the stroke of a pen she could free Misa from this cursed life.

“Do you really mean that Misa?”

Rem held her breath as she tightened her grip on her notebook.

“Yes I do. I can’t do this.”

Upon opening her notebook, Rem lifted her pen. Her hand trembled as ink touched the paper.

No.

She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t watch the life be sucked out of Misa… no, not her Misa...not Misa with the bubbly laugh, and the mischievous smile, and the brash voice, and the peppy demeanor.  
A world without Misa was not a world Rem wished to live in.

“Why Misa? Why do you want to die for him?”

The question rang through the room. Rem knew she would get no response, but she felt it needed to be said. 

—

“There is another way…”  
This other way would serve both Misa and Light Yagami.

Rem knew Misa would never agree to a plan that would Jeopardize Light’s success, so though Rem wanted to crush that wretched killer, she would let him off the hook once again.

“Misa when this is done you will forget everything about shinigami and the death note…”

There was a bitter taste in Rem’s throat— she knew that doing this would erase Rem from Misa’s memories. The thought stung, but Rem knew she could not allow herself to be so selfish. She would do whatever it took to ensure Misa’s well being, even if it meant leaving the girl’s life forever.

“Forfeit ownership of the death note.”

Time seemed to stop as Misa’s shoulders tensed. A flutter of something akin to hope surged through Rem— Misa didn’t want to let go. Rem wondered if perhaps Misa felt it too, or at least felt some sort of connection to her Shinigami. 

Whether that was the case of not was unimportant. It had to be done— and so with reluctance, Misa hummed in agreement, thus severing her ties to the book of death.

Rem wanted to scream.  
She wanted to write Light and L’s names in her death note right that very second.

They were the reason she was forced to leave her Misa.

“Oh Misa…”

Rem brushed a loose strand of Misa’s hair from her face, her hand lingering as she ran a finger down the girl’s cheek.

Tears streamed down the girl’s face— perhaps out of grief and longing for something she no longer understood, for something that had slipped her mind out of the blue.

Rem wiped a single tear from Misa’s face, feeling that exact same grief and longing.

—

Her conversation with Light was a blur. Rem could hardly bring herself to look at him. 

Ryuk chuckled aimlessly as he watched the two converse. Rem could feel his judgemental eyes seething into her. She knew he thought her a fool for protecting the girl. She knew he thought her weak for caring.

She glanced in the other Shinigami’s direction, resentment evident in her glare. He did not understand, and how could she expect him too? He was the one adhering to Shinigami code and she was the one sacrificing everything for a human girl. For a split second she even envied Ryuk’s ability to remain unattached. When the time came for Light’s light to flicker out, Ryuk would just take off, unbothered by the loss of his companion.

Though she despised Light, she did not understand how Ryuk could spend so much time with the boy, and yet not a feel a smidge of affection. On second thought, she rather pitied the cackling Shinigami. He would never know the warmth that was caring for another.

“Take care of her. You gave your word.”

Deep down she knew Light’s word was worthless, but she could only hope that he’d have mercy on Misa.

—

Kyosuke Higuchi was a despicable creature. He was selfish, cruel, and perverted— but he was also the third Kira.

He had none of Light’s intelligence, much less Misa’s charm. There was nothing remotely remarkable about him, but Rem supposed that was what Light had intended for. He wanted someone who’d easily be controlled, and within only moments of meeting Higuchi, it became obvious to Rem that Light could run figurative circles around the dense business man.

He treated Rem with little to no respect, referring to her with a certain icy demeanor that infuriated the Shinigami. The man wouldn’t even call her by her name, believing her to not be deserving of such dignity.

When Higuchi and Misa crossed paths for the first time, Rem could see the way Higuchi eyed her up and down, practically devouring her with his stare.

Rem wanted to kill him right then and there.

To him, Misa was but a beautiful delicacy to be consumed and treasured like an expensive watch. The way he undressed her with his eyes, touching her with such possession— as though she were a shiny object at his fingertips.

Rem couldn’t help but hope that Light would serve Higuchi his justice and end his pitiful existence.

—

On occasion, Rem slipped away into the cool night air, leaving any thoughts of Higuchi far behind her. She liked the feeling of the cool night breeze against her neck. The human realm could be rather beautiful when the streets were silent and moonlight bounced off of street lamps. Without Misa by her side however, it was not quite as beautiful as it could’ve been.

She aimlessly wandered about Japan, always finding her way to taskforce headquarters. How could she stay away?

Slipping through the walls, she heard the voices of the men who had detained Misa all those weeks ago. It baffled her how Misa could put all of that behind her and befriend the very same task-force who’d allowed her to suffer such a heinous interrogation. Rem believed Misa to be far too forgiving.

Rem went to her usual destination— the whole reason she’d ventured so far out at night in the first place. 

Misa was sound asleep when Rem entered the girl’s room. The shinigami moved to stand at the edge of the bed so she could admire Misa’s relaxed features. 

Rem pondered the girl’s beauty. Even after the horrors Misa had committed and faced alike, she still was so radiant. As she snored softly, she looked as though she were at peace.

Rem smiled sadly as she paid close attention to Misa’s steady breathing. 

Misa was at peace not only without the death note, but without Rem. A peaceful existence for Misa was an existence where Rem was not at her side, and such a notion deeply pained the shinigami.

Rem was not essential to Misa’s happiness, nor would she ever be. 

Nonetheless, Rem vowed to protect the girl at all costs. With nimble fingers, she pulled up the covers so that Misa was neatly tucked into her bed. The girl sighed, snuggling into her pillow in a manner that reminded Rem of those gentle nights they’d once spent together.

“Goodnight Misa.”

As expected this time around, there was no response.

—

On one particular night, Rem decided she’d check up on none other than Light Yagami.

His plan was in motion each and every waking hour regardless of whether or not he was aware of it. With every step, Rem drew closer and closer to the moment his plan would come to fruition. She knew she had to keep close tabs on what he was preparing as Misa’s life hung in the balance of it all.

She gave one last glance to Misa who’d subconsciously shifted toward Rem’s touch. Though she could not see nor feel Rem, in her deep sleep Misa somehow sensed the shinigami’s energy and was drawn to it. Rem’s breath hitched at the girl’s movement, before fixing an unruly strand of Misa’s hair that had a mind of its own. She pursed her lips before turning to exit. 

“No harm shall come to you as long as I live.”

Upon floating through the task-force headquarters floors to the room Light and L shared, Rem came across a scene she’d never even considered to be possible.

Light was laughing in a sort of tired amusement with L staring back at him with a quiet fondness. They sat together on the bed, L in his usual unusual position typing away at his computer, with Light peering over his shoulder.

Their arms brushed against each other as they exchanged soft words amidst the room’s comforting atmosphere. It was an odd sight to behold.

She never expected such fierce adversaries— two men she deemed to be as monstrous as the shinigami race itself, to be able to exist with one another in such a tender state.

Rem took note of the faint blush that colored Light’s cheeks and the way L’s pupils dilated ever so slightly when they’d lock eyes.

So the world’s greatest detective and the world’s most dangerous serial killer had the capability to love after all? Rem never imagined that either of them had the emotional capacity to feel anything other than boredom, much less genuine desire and especially not compassion.

Even though she intensely disliked them both, she couldn’t help but wonder if love would save them in the end? Would love be Kira’s downfall and the rise of a brighter fate for the man they called Light Yagami? 

Rem held on to the hope that this could hold true for herself and Misa, and that in the end love would same them both, or at the very least save Misa.

—

“Please believe me. I’m your ally.”

Rem wanted to say more. She wanted to take the quivering girl in her arms and kiss away the murders committed by those pretty little hands. She wanted to cry— Shinigami could not produce tears, and yet Rem felt as though her eyes would start watering at any moment. 

Misa could see her again and that was all that mattered.

“My ally?”

The two were pressed for time. Just down the hall, the entire lot of Yotsuba men were lined up and prepared to dissect Misa’s every move. Rem needed to ensure that Misa would leave the interview safe and sound, and so she’d acted according to her own instincts. Slipping a piece of the note into Misa’s hand had purely been a spur of the moment decision. She needed to speak directly to the girl to offer her guidance— along with the fact that she’d missed talking to Misa with every ounce of her being.

“Light Yagami is Kira”

Rem decided it time to fill Misa in. Hopefully this could push Light’s plan along, and in turn gain Misa safety more quickly.

Misa gapped at Rem’s words, her face reddening as she gasped in excitement. Misa was absolutely thrilled to know that the man she loved had been the same man to kill those disgusting criminals who’d taken her everything. Light being Kira only made serving Light more appealing to the girl, her eyes flowing in delight.

She giggled, clasping her hands together.

On one hand, Rem was disgusted at Misa’s display of attraction to the fact that Light was indeed both the man of her dreams and the man of the world’s nightmares. Couldn’t Misa see she was being used?  
On the other hand, Rem also felt her chest tighten in fondness at the sound of Misa’s laugh. She’d missed the flounce of the girl’s voice and how it made her mind all fuzzy.

“Misa, do you still love Light enough to die for him?”  
Rem wasn’t quite sure why she asked, for she already knew the answer. Rem would never allow such a prospect to happen as long as she could help it. She’d gladly watch Light meet his doom, as long as Misa was free from danger.

Misa inched closer, her smile curious. She expressed trust in Rem’s words, basing her decision on the fact that Rem knew of her undying devotion to Light.

“You know everything about me!”

Rem chuckled at that, also inching closer as to meet Misa halfway. There was far more to Misa than her devotion to Light, all of which Rem wanted to point out in the moment. 

When Rem said she knew Misa, she meant that she truly knew her. She knew the girl’s favorite foods and favorite songs and favorite outfits, what books the girl would reread at least once a month, what tv-dramas caught her eye— Rem had come to know Misa inside out, and loved every minuscule detail. She could only hope that in the near future, Misa would remember it all.

“You haven’t changed, Misa”

Rem sighed to herself as they went their separate ways. When they made eye contact during the second half of the interview, Rem couldn’t help but allow her mind to wander.

Even after the whole world was thrown for a loop, Misa was still beautiful as ever.

—

Rem eyed both Misa and Higuchi with suspicion.

Rem knew Misa to be far more clever than anyone gave her credit for. She knew with clarity that Misa had a scheme up her sleeve— it was apparent by the cheeky glint in her eyes.

The real question was: was she following Light’s instructions or was this the workings of her mind alone?

There was also the ever present fear that Higuchi would try something on the girl. Rem knew he wanted Misa and would stop at nothing to make her his. Rem wouldn’t put it past him to use force to have his way with her.

The thought made Rem dizzy with fury. If anything of the sort transpired, she’d make that man curse the day he was born.

Misa’s plan unfurled as a Venus fly trap would open. It was mesmerizing to watch, so elegant— yet ever so deadly, luring in its prey.

She batted her eyelashes with a giggle, expressing how she’d marry Kira in a heartbeat. 

What caught Rem off guard was Misa proclaiming to be the second Kira. She was even more startled by Misa’s declaration that she would prove it to him.

Ginzo Kaneboshi was the name he gave her, his eyebrows contorted in both skepticism and intrigue. Higuchi wouldn’t believe it until he saw it.

At first Rem had panicked, realizing Misa had no real way of eliminating this Kaneboshi character. What on earth was Misa thinking? Her cover was sure to be blown.

And then it became all too clear.  
Misa wanted Rem to kill the man for her.

Rem mulled it over in her mind for only a few moments before promptly writing the man’s name in her note. If it would be helpful to Misa’s plan, then Rem would not argue.

Misa eyed the Shinigami through the car mirror gratefully, her lips holding back a smile.  
When Higuchi had called the man’s office to confirm his death, Misa smiled smugly as it was announced that Ginzo Kaneboshi had dropped dead. Higuchi stared at her with wide eyes, stunned by the fact that sat right next to him was a woman with not only the same abilities as him, but with the killer eyes of a Shinigami. Misa laughed at the man’s expression— she had him wrapped around her fingertip.

Rem felt a rush of pride. The two of them seemed to work in sync— both able to read the situation and each other without a single word exchanged between them.

This pride was quickly squandered as Rem considered the prospect that she was being used by Misa in the same way Light took advantage of Misa. The notion was chilling— the same way Misa bent to Light’s will, Rem would bend to her dear Misa’s will. Perhaps Higuchi wasn’t the only one trapped in Misa’s hold.

Rem shook her head at the thought that Misa could act with such malicious intent. She was nothing like Light, and Rem would not allow herself to further indulge such an awful comparison.

With a sigh, she refocused her full attention back to Misa and her poisonous scheme to take down Higuchi. Was she recording his confession? That had to have been it. 

When Higuchi threw himself onto the girl, his eyes glazed over in his lust for both the girl beneath him and the power he would wield with the allyship of the supposed second Kira.

Rem’s glare intensified as she reached to pull Higuchi off of Misa. The sight of Higuchi on top of her was almost too much— Rem’s hatred for the man multiplied by the thousand.

Misa did not seem alarmed in the slightest, simply playing into Higuchi’s outburst with her natural charm. Rem held herself back from interfering, realizing that Misa still held the upper ground. She’d even convinced HIguchi to pause his killings.

All she had to do was agree to marry him and she had him on his knees.

Rem laughed at the man’s stupidity. Misa would never marry such an idiotic fool.

In the back of her mind she wondered what Misa would look like draped in white lace as she walked down the aisle. The thought was mesmerizing. 

—

Higuchi’s limp body hit the ground with a deafening thud.  
This was it— the first Kira awakened from his slumber.

Light Yagami was back in the game, his mind moving at full force.

Rem felt no pity as she gave Higuchi a final glance. He’d gotten what he deserved in the end, becoming yet another nameless monster amongst Kira’s many victims.

The notebook now belonged to the mastermind himself, and Rem prepared herself for what that would entail. She figured she’d be interacting with the taskforce and L, meaning that she’d need to conceal all knowledge of Light’s crimes.

She would feign ignorance anyday if it was for Misa’s sake.

Her thoughts drifted to the girl— since Light had regained awareness of his true identity, it was only a matter of time before Misa re-entered the playing field.

—

Light held Misa against his chest, his lips lingering at her ear.

She melted into his hold, her eyes contorted with not only devotion, but with the same wickedness that echoed in Light’s veins. There was no doubt about it— Misa had retrieved Ryuk’s notebook that had been buried out in the woods. 

Rem watched from the shadows, practically shaking. Misa remembered it all.

She remembered the sensation of Rem’s harsh fingers entwined with her own, of the cozy nights spent curled up together, of the playful yet soft banter… but also of the killing and destruction left behind in her wake.

There was a hint of madness in the way Misa babbled over Light as he pulled away from their embrace. She’d kill for him once more— too far gone to care for the cruelty and carelessness of her past and future actions alike. As much as Rem was happy that Misa remembered their time together, Rem wasn’t sure if regaining those memories was worth it if it meant that Misa returned to her violent ways. 

Perhaps completely eliminating the notebook from the equation was the only way for Misa to remain human.

Rem sunk into the darkness as she watched Misa skip out of the building— She couldn’t bear to imagine the dark depths to which Misa would fall.

—

“Why don’t you sing anymore?”

Misa jumped in surprise, immediately getting up from the desk she’d been sat at.

“Rem!”  
Misa’s eyes lit up as she made a beeline for Rem’s arms.

Rem had finally decided to pay Misa a visit. They hadn’t properly interacted since before Misa’s imprisonment all those many months ago.

Misa pressed her head against Rem’s chest, allowing Rem to lift her up. They stayed like that for quite some time, Rem’s arms enveloping the girl. Rem’s soul twinged at the chilling sensation of Misa’s quiet tears dampening her bony chest. 

The girl was only mildly aware of the tears falling from her eyes as she clung to the Shinigami for dear life.

“You didn’t answer my question.” 

Misa perked up at Rem’s statement, looking up to meet the Shinigami’s gaze.

“Whenever I came by task-force headquarters, I never heard you singing.”

Misa gulped, a nervous laugh slipping from her mouth.

“Maybe you just never caught me at the right time!”  
The girl’s expression seemed troubled as she tried to muster a grin.

Rem shook her head, knowing instantly that Misa was not being truthful. It made her gut twist into knots.

“We both know that is not the case.”

Misa backed up so that she was released from Rem’s arms, her eyes trailing the floor.

“Light didn’t like my singing— said it was obnoxious and a disruption, and so I— I’d never want to upset Light! So… I decided to stop!”  
Misa explained, doing her best to maintain her usual excitable demeanor.

Rem wanted to scream. She wanted to curse Light with the worst of suffering and watch him shrivel up in defeat. 

“Come here.”

Misa obliged, allowing Rem to take her hand in her own, just as they’d once done when things were much simpler. 

“You’re singing is beautiful, Misa.”

Misa giggled, rolling her eyes dismissively.  
“You think so?”

Rem tightened her grasp on the girl’s hand, bending so that they were on the same eye level.

“No Misa. It does not matter what I think— It’s what I know. Your voice is beautiful, and that is a simple truth.”

“Rem…”

Misa collapsed against Rem, her quiet tears morphing into bellowing sobs.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Misa.”

Ryuk cackled at the scene playing out before him. He found the odd relationship between the Shinigami and the girl to be rather interesting.

—

“What gives?”

“Excuse me?”

Ryuk had caught Rem before she could be on her way back to task-force headquarters. He eyed her curiously, his eyes seemingly laughing at her.

“What are you trying to do?….with the girl?”

Rem was silent, refusing to meet Ryuk’s eyes.

“What’s your game plan?”

“There’s no game plan.”  
Rem’s voice was quiet, yet firm. 

“There’s no game to begin with.”  
She quickly added.

“I’ve always found humans to be interesting, but never another Shinigami— you’re a lot like them, y’know.”

“What is that supposed to mean!?”

“Humans and all their icky feelings… It’s pretty gross, but it sure does lead to some interesting situations.”

Rem swiftly moved past him, no longer having the patience to deal with his idiocy. 

“You’ve gone soft Rem.”

Rem stopped in her tracks, anger welling up inside her.

“I can’t wait to see what happens next— your ‘icky feelings’ for the girl are sure to cause a ruckus!”  
He snorted, a cackle rising from his throat.

“I’ll be watching!”

“Goodnight Ryuk.”  
Rem replied coldly, before tearing through the night. She desperately tried to escape the storm crashing through her chest, as fierce emotions pierced her skin. 

Ryuk was correct.

She was weak just as humans were— with a fragile soul yearning and bleeding out to protect someone she loved.

—

Rem’s schedule was busier than expected. She spent far more time with L than she would’ve liked to— the detective constantly stared at her, his expression blank with a hint of curiosity. The detective always had a million questions to wrack her brain with.

Though the Shinigami had her gripes with the man, she could not help but ache for his loss. The way he looked at Light— anger, dread, even fear… was accompanied with an incessant longing and attachment. In some sense, it was painful to watch the two float about each other, clearly enamored with one another, and yet separated by their definitive roles. Ryuzaki and Light could afford to love, whilst L and Kira could not. 

She knew killing L had been a part of the plan from the beginning, and yet she couldn’t fathom Light following through with it. She didn’t want to believe that love could be trampled by Kira’s cruelty— if that were to be the case, then she dreaded what that would mean for herself and Misa.

—

Rem visited Misa every night. Once the task-force closed up shop, she’d quickly slip away to keep the girl company.

Misa spent hours at a time writing names in her note, her eyes glazed over in a frenzy of determination. Rem often found her like that— hunched over her desk as she killed. 

“You need to eat.”  
Rem chided, gently taking the pen from the girl’s hand.

Misa’s obsession with Light was eating her alive. She barely got to see him as it was, and when left to her own devices, she struggled to take care of herself.

Her floor was littered with clothes, and her hair was uncombed— she skipped meals and forgot about sleep on the daily.

Nonetheless, Rem did her best to be unwaveringly patient as she practically had to beg Misa to take her own well being into account. 

Rem sat with the girl as she quietly ate her meal.

To Rem’s surprise, aside from the usual snide remark, Ryuk tended to leave her and Misa alone.

As Misa finished up, Rem tidied up the cluttered countertop before proceeding to wash the girl’s dish. Misa watched her intently as though she were questioning her whole entire world

Afterwards, they lay sprawled on Misa’s bed— just like old times, with Misa’s pillow fluffed against Rem’s chest.

Rem’s fingers danced through Misa’s hair as she’d done so many times before. This time however, the atmosphere was particularly tense, as though a ravenous hurricane lay overhead them.

Misa turned upward so that she could see Rem, her eyes still glassy as she was seemingly lost in her own mind. The girl raised her hand to cup Rem’s bony cheek, and lightly ran her thumb across the Shinigami’s face.

Rem let out a shaky breath, leaning into Misa’s hand and shutting her eyes. When she opened them back up, she was met with an unfamiliar expression upon the girl’s face. There was pain and realization in Misa’s eyes, along with a hint of longing. 

“Rem, I- ”  
Misa’s mouth hung open, the words unable to escape her throat. She looked at Rem, desperately trying to convey the weight of what she wished to say. Rem could only wonder if Misa was trying to voice some sort of gratitude, or perhaps she was even trying to express her reciprocation or rejection of Rem’s feelings. In the end, Rem would never truly find out. Misa turned face down into her pillow, her arm falling to rest across Rem’s stomach. Silence overcame them both.

“I’m sorry.”  
Misa’s voice echoed through Rem’s body.

Rem held the girl a little tighter, just as she’d once done during Misa’s nightmare plagued nights.

“It is alright Misa. I’m here.”  
In the spur of the moment, Misa moved to press a kiss to Rem’s cheek, her eyes wet with tears.

“Thank you… for everything.”

“Of course.”

—

Frozen in her tracks, Rem felt the true downpour of Kira’s cruelty. There was no stopping his powerful rains— for this was the end of the line for the Shinigami.

Light had her cornered as he intended to from the beginning.

Giving Misa the notebook right after regaining his memories was simply a ploy to shift all suspicion onto her. With L right on her scent, it was only a matter of time until Misa was caught. 

Rem didn’t want to even humor the fate that would await Misa if she were to be caught.  
Would it be a miserable existence in a prison cell, or would it be a lethal injection? Either way, Rem wouldn’t allow any such danger to entrap Misa any further into the darkness of her soul.

It was either kill L, or allow Misa to meet a sorrowful end— and so L would die, as would Rem.

The Shinigami wondered what it would feel like to crumble into dust. What sort’ve sensation would eternal emptiness bring about?

She supposed it would feel the same way Light would feel after leading the one person he’d truly connected with, the person he’d come to care for, into a death trap.

And maybe it would be a feeling reminiscent of the scrutinizing pain that was Misa not remembering, or simply just the horrifying prospect of never feeling the girl’s touch ever again?

Love would not save L and Light, and when push came to shove, Love would leave Rem as a pile of ash on the floor. 

For the first time, Rem understood why Misa fell at Light’s feet, happily complicit in his death schemes. She understood the senseless dedication, the obsessive delusion— Misa would move mountains for Light because she felt she loved him, and in the end, Rem would sacrifice every fiber of herself if it would save the human girl she loved above all.

If love could not save them both, perhaps it could allow Misa a few more years, and maybe, just maybe, a shot at finding contentment in life.

As Rem put her pen to paper, her mind was flooded with memory after memory.

Her hand shook as she wrote.  
L Lawliet

Misa’s smile, her laugh, her touch, her hair, her voice, her warmth, her glow…her, everything— every little detail was drilled into Rem’s mind.

As Rem felt her body give out, disintegrating into thousands and thousands of dust particles, she thought only of the human girl who’d brought color into her life.

“I love you”


End file.
